So in the first part of this, we talked about what kind of emotional pain we hold onto and why we hold onto it. Today I want to talk a little about how to let go. One of my favorites saying sis; “it’s not the letting go that hurts, it’s the holding on.” I see more pain delivered by holding on than by letting go. I think sometimes we hold onto pain and hurt because we do not know how to let go. So today, I want to focus on a few ways that we can let go.
The first thing you need to remember in letting go is to make a commitment to letting go. You can say you are willing to let go, but you need to be willing and committed to let go. Ask yourself why you want to let go. Make a list of the reasons you want to let go, think of how it will feel, then commit to the change that will happen in your life once you let go.
Think new! That is right. Rather than thinking about the past, and the injury, think about new and exciting things. Offer your energy to the new. It is hard to create something new when you are so busy holding onto the old.
Another helpful tip on letting go is to try and stop seeing the wrong in everything. It really makes us victims. If everything is wrong, then nothing is right. Let go of the wrong because it is like carrying extra baggage. You may find that letting go makes you feel weightless. Try it sometime, just let go and see how freeing it feels.
I know this is jargon you hear everywhere when someone says stay in the now. I get tired of hearing it too, however, I must confess, when I stay in the present moment, I am not really holding onto anything. Anger, resentment, and fear are hard to hold onto when you are just right here in the now. You see letting go of the ball and chain of pain, living in the now is easier. It is simpler.
Of course, one of the best ways you can let go is to forgive. Think about where the hurt came from and begin to take steps in forgiveness. I know it is easier said than done, but forgiveness is an act of moving into a healthier you.
Life is way too short to hold onto the things that keep us weighted down. Really, death can come anytime and we are not guaranteed a certain amount of time. How do you want to spend your time? Do you want to spend it angry and hurt, or free and forgiving? When push comes to shove, that is really what it amounts to.
Finally, it is important to learn we cannot control it all. Sometimes we hold on because it feels like we have control. If you spend a lot of time belittling yourself for things you have done in the past or things that were done to you in the past you feel like you are in control. The truth is, when you do that, you are totally out of control. I ask you to go easy on yourself and to stop trying to be so controlling….you can let go anytime, anywhere of anything, if you want.
For today this is Dr. Tyler Woods saying walk in peace…
To learn about forgiveness, read my blog post The Intent Of Forgiveness.