I was recently talking to someone who strongly stated that he thought it was best to just tell people what they want to hear rather than telling the truth. “It’s just easier that way.” The other thing is to not say anything at all. “Just don’t say anything at all.” It was a new one on me that not walking in your truth is easier than being honest.
I sat with this not just for days but for weeks. It was hard to get my head around the fact that people think lack of honesty is a healthy choice. In fact, not being honest creates an unhealthy person. Researchers have discovered people who are not honest have many health ailments including cardiac conditions and cancer. People who are unable to be honest with people they love in their lives also suffer from far more mental health issues. Depression and anxiety as well as living with the stress of guilt and shame.
Still the question remains, should we tell people only what we feel they want to hear in order to please them and keep the peace? I suppose for me, I would like to answer the question with a question. The answer would be, how authentic do you want to be?
I think honesty and integrity is all part of walking a higher path. In the 12 step program I am in, it really emphasizes being honest, and not just honest, but rigorously honest. You have to be honest in order to get sober and then remain sober. You have to be honest in order to be in your own skin. Yet it is funny, for many people, when you are being honest, they cannot take it and need to label you, or call you names or pass rumors about you.
Fear not though and turn the other cheek. They are the people who stand in fear. I have been called names for being honest. I have been called a liar, a trouble maker, I have been called a rabble-rouser, an instigator, and a few words such as #$!*& and of course ##$%&*# all because I make choices to be honest.
Now I am not talking about being brutally honest, just a plain and simple honesty. We all may say things like hmmm that was good, when in fact, maybe it was not the greatest. I am talking about basic truths. Many people cannot tolerate the truth. In my line of work, being honest is important. As a mental health practitioner and dealing with people’s emotions, honesty is vital. Not only is being honest vital, but is a necessary path we need to walk in order to grow.
So next time someone tells you it is best to tell people things even if it is a lie, in order to make them happy, make sure you are aware that the dishonesty you are participating in affects your biology. Not being honest and authentic wrecks havoc on the immune system, your cardio vascular system, your state of mental health, and forget spirituality because a spiritual person simply doesn’t require the need to lie.
So let people call you names, point their fingers and spread rumors keep in mind which path you want to be on; The path of authenticity and walking with a higher power on a higher path, or the path of dishonesty and walking the path of resentments and anger and grudges?
Choose your path this New Year. Decide which path is best for you. Make a decision if you want to continue being angry, resentful and dishonest, or a decision to be more honest, spiritual and authentic. It is interesting which choices we all may take.
Happy New Years to all and remember the holistic pathway to mental health offers you choices in your healing, health and growth.