I am going to get straight to the point with this blog today. My friend that I have known since I was 16 killed himself last night. I cannot tell you how painful this is for me and how with each breath I take how much it hurts. I specialize in suicide and I know what I am about to feel. I cannot say it is going to be pleasant, but what I do know is my friend was depressed, and depression requires an action.
My friend inquired about counseling and I had talked to him a few times and suggested we had too much of a history and he should really seek out counseling. I said he was depressed. He had said it felt good to know that he was depressed and not just going out of his head. Still, he did not take action to treat his depression.
I gave him a few names and numbers of some people that would work with him and said depression requires an action. He said just knowing it was depression was enough to turn it around for him. I knew that wasn’t the truth. A few weeks before his death I saw him, I could tell he was visiting his old friend depression and he was not willing to leave.
I think part of his reason he did not want help was he thought he could take care of it himself, or as always it would go away. He isn’t the only one who was not getting treated, about half of Americans with major depression do not receive treatment for it. There are many reasons why people do not get help, money, stigma, shame. Yet none of these was the reason Tony did not get treated. He really thought it would go away. Tony did not realize that depression required a verb, which is an action. Therefore, he took his life.
He also talked about not wanting to be on medications. It is true, in today’s world you say the word depression and a prescription is written. I suggested that there are many alternative methods that can CURE depression. I gave him names of people he could talk to, and even suggested he build up on his social networking suggesting that sometimes lunch with a friend can go a long ways.
He could have exercised, played music, ate better, gone to counseling, talked to friends, taken supplements. All these have one thing in common, they are all actions, and depression is a verb that requires an action.
My dear friend took his own life because he was unwilling to take an action to help him with his depression. His smile, art, music and photography will be remembered, so will his death and in his death, my hope is that he will be able to teach us all that depression is a verb that requires an action.